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TRANSCRIPT (Part 1)

(After the title card, the screen fades from black to reveal the Warner Bros. water tower. Dr. Scratchansniff's green car pulls up from the left and we cut to the doctor honking the horn on the steering wheel three times.)

(Screen cuts to the door opening and the Warners walking out awake. Yakko walks out yawning while wearing a robe.)

Yakko (Calling from above): Be down in a minute!

(We cut to Dr. Scratchansniff looking at his watch)

Dr. Scratchansniff: Mmm.

(The Warners suddenly spring up from behind him)

Yakko, Wakko, and Dot: HELLO!

(Dr. Scratchansniff screams and presses his face against the window)

Dr. Scratchansniff (Face squished): Hello.

(The doctor pulls his face out of the glass, then he sees Background Singer running out. He jumps out the door and opens his microphone umbrella and glides down. until he lands in front of the doctor's car.)

(The Warners pull signs out. Each sign has a "10" on it.)

Dr. Scratchansniff: Not bad.

(Background Singer takes the shotgun, since he's the second tallest.)

Yakko: Sorry we're late, Scratchy. We were up all night talking to Boutros Boutros-Ghali.

Dr. Scratchansniff (Shocked): (Gasps) Ze [The] League of the United Nations!?

Yakko: No, that's just the name of our pet sea monkey.

Dot: Some coincidence, huh?

Dr. Scratchansniff (Uninterested): I see. Heh-heh-heh.

(Dr. Scratchansniff shifts the gear to "DRIVE" and his car drives up to the toll gate. Dr. Scratchansniff honks the horn for Ralph, who comes out with a doughnut in his mouth. He waves and opens the gate as Background Singer tips his hat. The car drives out the studio and we cut to the backseat where Yakko plays with his paddleball and Dot is playing with her Game Boy.)

(Wakko pulls out an accordion and after the doctor turns his head in confusion, Background Singer gets an idea for a song.)

Background Singer (Warming his vocal chords): ♪La, la-la-la-la-la...♪

Oh, that's good.

(We cut to Wakko playing the accordion, then back to Background Singer vocalizing as the doctor starts to steam up.)

♪La-la-la-la-la...♪

(Dr. Scratchansniff growls while listening to Background Singer's vocalizing mixed together with the noise behind him and stops the car)

♪La-la-la-la-la... AAH!♪

Dr. Scratchansniff (Mad): Vakko [Wakko]! Vould [Would] you mind stopping zis [this] terrible noise?

Wakko: It's not noise. I'm writing a song.

Dr. Scratchansniff (Mad): A song? No-no-no-no, that's not a song. It's just two notes. It's just a sqveezey [squeezy] und [and] a pully. (Imitates the accordion noise playing) Zat [That] doesn't make a song.

(The Warners look at each other)

Dot: (Smiles) Sure it does!

Wakko: Listen. Yakko?

(Yakko continues playing with his paddleball and we cut to Wakko playing the same tune on the accordion. The Warners bounce their heads left and right and we cut to the doctor covering his ears.)

Dr. Scratchansniff (Mad): I'm... not... hearing a song! It's just noise! No no, two noises! Stoppenze!

(The music stops)

A song has many notes!

Wakko: Says who?

Dr. Scratchansniff: Says ze [the]... uh... song president. Ze [The] big president of songs.

(We cut to Background Singer as his eyebrows drop)

Background Singer: You're not making a lick of sense.

Wakko: Oh, him.

Dr. Scratchansniff: Yeah, okay. I'm just saying that it's not a "song".

Background Singer: Maybe it's not a song unless it's got singing in it.

Dr. Scratchansniff: Don't even. I've heard a lot better from you.

TRANSCRIPT (Part 2)/Song

Wakko: Give it a chance.

(Yakko continues playing with his paddleball and Wakko plays the same tune on the accordion. Then we cut to Dot.)

Dot. This'll help.

(Dot's fingers turn up the volume on her Game Boy and we cut to the Warners bouncing their heads left and right. Then we cut to Background Singer listening to the music while the doctor still doesn't understand the concept.)

Dr. Scratchansniff: But vhat [what], vhat [what] is that? A polka?

Wakko: A polka! Good idea!

(We cut to the Warners playing instruments with a German band on a stage. Next to them, Background Singer yodels to the tune.)

Dr. Scratchansniff: Okay, maybe that's a polka.

Wakko: Well, it's not just a polka.

(The Warners are now on a stage with cowboys playing instruments. The music is now a slow western tune.)

Dr. Scratchansniff: Yee-haw.

(The camera rotates around Dr. Scratchansniff as he claps to the music. The camera now focuses on the Warners playing in a rock band with electric guitars. We cut to Dr. Scratchansniff dancing in the crowd.)

I'm starting to like it!

(Dr. Scratchansniff yelps as he is slapped in the back. With his mouth open, Dr. Scratchansniff flies into the screen. The music is now a jazz tune as the camera pulls out of a saxophone being played by Yakko. The Warners are now playing with a jazz band. We cut to Dr. Scratchansniff snapping his fingers to the beat.)

Vow [Wow], cats. I'm digging zis [this] big time!

(We now cut to the Warners playing ballroom music on stage. In the audience, Dr. Scratchansniff sniffles and sheds a tear. We cut back to the stage as the blue curtain behind the band opens, revealing an entire orchestra. We cut to Dr. Scratchansniff humming to the tune while swinging his arms in the manner of a conductor. After three seconds, we cut to Background Singer on stage as he speaks into the mic.)

Background Singer: Now you've got it! Ready, boys?

(The orchestra crescendos and the background singers tear the tuxedos off the trumpeters, revealing their red band clothes. The trumpeteers put on their red hats as the Background Singers start to vocalize.)

Background Singers (In harmony): ♪La-la-la-la-la...♪

(The blue curtain behind the band opens revealing a steel door. Once it opens, the Warners march out while leading the band, meanwhile, all the Background Singers stand on a parade float.)

Background Singer #1: All together now!

(As the crowd cheers, The Warners, Dr. Scratchansniff, and all the Background Singers harmonize to the music.)

The Warners and Dr. Scratchansniff: ♪La-la-la... la-la, la, la, la.♪

Background Singers (In harmony): ♪La-la-la-la-la...♪

The Warners and Dr. Scratchansniff: ♪La-la-la... la-la, la, la, la.♪

Background Singers (In harmony): ♪La-la-la-la-la...♪

The Warners and Dr. Scratchansniff: ♪La-la-la... la-la, la, la, la.♪

Background Singers (In harmony): ♪La-la-la-la-la...♪

The Warners and Dr. Scratchansniff: ♪La...♪

The Warners, Background Singers, and Dr. Scratchansniff: ♪La.♪

The Warners and Dr. Scratchansniff: ♪La-la-la... la-la, la, la, la.♪

Background Singers (In harmony): ♪La-la-la-la-la...♪

The Warners and Dr. Scratchansniff: ♪La-la-la... la-la, la, la, la.♪

Background Singers (In harmony): ♪La-la-la-la-la...♪

The Warners and Dr. Scratchansniff: ♪La-la-la... la-la, la, la, la.♪

Background Singers (In harmony): ♪La-la-la-la-la...♪

The Warners and Dr. Scratchansniff: ♪La... la.♪

(The music stops as we cut to the Background Singers finishing their long note. The first Background Singer inhales and sings his finishing solo.)

Background Singer: ♪La... la!♪

(As the first Background Singer lets out a harmonious long note, the others join in on cue.)

Other Background Singers (Joining in): ♪La...!♪

(The closing music resumes as the Warners and Dr. Scratchansniff sing the final part.)

The Warners and Dr. Scratchansniff: ♪La!♪♪

(On the final note of the music, the screen shatters and we cut to the first Background Singer nervously chuckling and in embarrassment slowly slides backwards.)

TRANSCRIPT (Part 3)/Ending

(We cut to the Dr. Scratchansniff now happy)

Dr. Scratchansniff: Ooh, that's a good song!

(Camera zooms away, revealing Background Singer and the Warners.)

Wakko (Satisfied): Told ya.

Background Singer: Now, let's take it from the top.

(We cut to Dr. Scratchansniff's car driving down the road as the camera rotates up. As the car drives away from the camera's view, the five can be heard harmonizing one last time.)

The Warners and Dr. Scratchansniff (Off-screen): ♪La-la-la... la-la, la, la, la.♪

Background Singer (Off-screen): ♪La-la-la-la-la...♪

The Warners and Dr. Scratchansniff (Off-screen): ♪La-la-la... la-la, la, la, la.♪

Background Singer (Off-screen): ♪La-la-la-la-la...♪

The Warners and Dr. Scratchansniff (Off-screen): ♪La-la-la... la-la, la, la, la.♪

Background Singer (Off-screen): ♪La-la-la-la-la...♪

The Warners and Dr. Scratchansniff (Off-screen): ♪La...♪

The Warners, Background Singers, and Dr. Scratchansniff (Off-screen): ♪La.♪

(Iris closes and opens revealing CEO Thaddeus J. Plotz writing a check. He hears a car horn honk four times. The chairman pulls out another blank check and starts writing as he hears the same car horn noise. He pulls out another blank check and gets angry after hearing the four honks again.)

Mr. Plotz (Mad): OH!

(Mr. Plotz walks up to the window and opens it as he hears the same car horn noise)

Mr. Plotz (Angrily shouting from above): Dr. Scratchansniff! Will you stop making that terrible noise!?

Dr. Scratchansniff (Happily calling from below): It's not noise! I'm writing a song!

Mr. Plotz: (Shakes his head) Poor guy finally snapped his noodle.

(We cut to Dr. Scratchansniff honking his horn four times while singing in tune)

Dr. Scratchansniff: ♪Dah-dah-dah-dah!♪

(Iris closes)

THE END

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