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TRANSCRIPT[]

(After the title card, the screen fades from black to reveal a picture of a bald eagle on a round sticker. The camera zooms out, revealing the whole picture. A few seconds later, Yakko rips through the eagle and is shown wearing American dress clothing.)

Yakko: ♪Heigh-Ho! Do you know, the names of the US residents who then became the presidents,  and got a view from the White House loo of Pennsylvania Avenue?♪

(Yakko flushes the toilet and a screen slides down from the ceiling, revealing Wakko and Yakko in front of the famous $1 bill with George Washington. They show up from different sides of the background.)

Yakko and Wakko: ♪George Washington was the first, you see,♪

(The next shot reveals Yakko and Wakko standing next to George standing on the stump of a cherry tree he chopped down)

♪he once chopped down a cherry tree.♪

(We cut to Dot dressed as the statue of Liberty, with Background Singer dressed in the same clothing as Yakko. They're both standing next to a portrait of John Adams.)

Dot and Background Singer: ♪President number two would be John Adams, and then number three.♪

(We cut over to Thomas Jefferson writing the Declaration of Independence, until his wife steps in.)

Babes Bunny (Off-screen): ♪Tom Jefferson stayed up to write the declaration late at night. So he and his wife had a great big fight.♪

(We cut to outside of Jefferson's bedroom where we see Yakko and Babes outside. Jefferson's wife throws him out the door and locks it on him.)

Yakko: ♪And she made him sleep on the couch all night.♪

(James Madison lights the fuse of a cannon and blows up the screen)

Wakko and Background Singer: ♪James Madison never had a son and he fought the War of eighteen-twelve [1812].♪

(The screen slowly zooms away from Dot, revealing Pinocchio laughing at James Monroe.)

Dot: ♪James Monroe's colossal nose was bigger than Pinocchio's.♪

(Yakko stands to the right of John Quincy Adams' portrait. The camera pans right, revealing the Andrew Jackson portrait.)

Yakko: ♪John Quincy Adams was number six, and it's Andrew Jackson's butt he kicks.♪

(The camera pans left, revealing Babes standing next to the John Quincy Adams portrait and James is pushed away by Jackson.)

Babes Bunny: ♪So Jackson learns to play politics. Next time, he's the one that the country picks.♪

(The camera pans left, revealing Dot on the left side of the Martin Van Buren portrait, with Background Singer standing behind Babes.)

Dot and Background Singer: ♪Martin Van Buren, number eight for a one-term shot as chief of state.♪

(We cut to Babes and Yakko marching in place in front of the March calendar)

Yakko: ♪William Harrison, how do ya praise?♪

(William Harrison falls over as Babes slides a fake knife under his armpit and acts like he's been impaled)

Babes Bunny (Dying): ♪That guy was dead in thirty [30] days!♪

(Background Singer spins a lasso as Wakko sings next to John Tyler and throws it right)

Wakko: ♪John Tyler he liked country folk.♪

(Background Singer pulls in Dot with James Polk)

Dot and Background Singer: ♪And after him came President Polk.♪

(Green smoke from Zachary Taylor's cigar fills up the background, making Babes stop singing.)

Babes Bunny: ♪Zachary Taylor liked to smoke... (Violently coughs)♪

Yakko: ♪(Pops up wearing a gas mask) His breath killed friends whenever he spoke.♪

(Wakko slides the American flag background right, revealing him and Background Singer singing next to the Millard Fillmore portrait.)

Wakko and Background Singer: ♪Eighteen-fifty [1850], really nifty, Millard Fillmore's in.♪

(Camera pans left to Yakko singing next to the Franklin Pierce portrait)

Yakko: ♪Young and fierce was Franklin Pierce, the man without a chin.♪

(Dot and Babes stand in front of scrolling text going from 1858 to 1861. Babes counts his fingers while singing, magically adding in an extra finger to make a five-fingered hand.)

Dot and Babes: ♪Follows next a period spannin', (Babes sticks his four out of five fingers at the screen) four long years with James Buchanan.♪

(Background Singer walks in and sees a cannon in front of him)

Background Singer: Then the south started (Becomes scared and opens his microphone umbrella) SHOOTING CANNONS!

(Background Singer gets blasted out and fried, while Dot and Babes duck.)

Dot (Sung) and Babes (Spoken): ♪And we got a Civil War!♪

(All 5 characters are presented as military generals)

All (To the tune of "I Wish I Was in Dixie"): ♪A war! A war down south in Dixie!♪

(Abraham Lincoln pushes the two flag backgrounds open, then we see him get ready to bat.)

Background Singer (Off-screen): And who's next?

Yakko: ♪Up to bat comes old Abe Lincoln.♪

(Abe swings the baseball and gets a home-run)

Dot: ♪There's a guy who's really thinkin'!♪

(The baseball hits the score beside Wakko, who puts a 6 in place of 5)

UNION = 16

CONFEDERACY = 15

Wakko: ♪Kept the United States from shrinkin', saved the ship of state from sinkin'!♪

(Yakko walks by while waving a flag, transitioning to Dot and Wakko sitting on the shoulders of Andrew Johnson. Babes, however, floats beside Dot.)

Dot: ♪Andrew Johnson's next.♪

Babes Bunny (While hovering): ♪He had some slight defects.♪

Wakko: ♪Congress each would impeach...♪

Dot and Babes: ♪And so the country now elects...♪

(Wakko and Babes grab the projector screen from the ceiling and pull it down, transitioning to Babes now with Yakko as Ulysses slams his fist on the table to the rhythm.)

Yakko and Babes: ♪Ulysses Simpson Grant, who would scream and rave and rant...♪

(Wakko and Background Singer walk in as Ulysses spills his whiskey on his pants)

Wakko and Background Singer: ♪While drinkin' whiskey, although risky, 'cause he spilled it on his pants.♪

Yakko and Babes: ♪It's eighteen-seventy-seven [1877] and the Democrats would gloat. But they're all amazed when Rutherford Hayes,♪

[DING!]

DEMOCRATS = 7

REPUBLICANS = 8

♪wins by just one vote.♪

(We see Dot and Background Singer in the left circle of the picture of James Garfield. Wakko and his pet appear in the right circle.)

Dot: ♪James Garfield someone really hated.♪

Background Singer: 'Cause he got assassinated.

(The picture of James Garfield turns into Chester Arthur)

Babes Bunny: ♪Chester Arthur gets instated.♪

(The year, 1881 changes to 1885 after Chester Arthur disappears.)

Wakko: ♪Four years later, he was traded.♪

(Grover Cleveland steps on a scale as Babes Bunny walks in from the left)

Babes Bunny (Dressed as a doctor): ♪For Grover Cleveland, really fat, elected twice as a Democrat.♪

(Dot is shown in her Lady Liberty costume again. This time, she stands next to the portrait of Benjamin Harrison. When the camera pans right to William McKinley, she poses like a batter with her fake torch.)

Dot: ♪Then Benjamin Harrison, after that, it's William McKinley up to bat.♪

(Theodore Roosevelt rides his horse from the right until his cowboy hat flies off)

Yakko: ♪Teddy Roosevelt charged up San Juan Hill.♪

(Wakko is shown with silverware in his hands. Next to him, William Howard Taft got a restaurant bill.)

Wakko: ♪And President Taft, he got the bill.♪

(We cut to Background Singer performing his solo next to Woodrow Wilson)

Background Singer: ♪In nineteen-thirteen [1913], Woodrow...♪

(The Warners and Babes Bunny pop up from the bottom right of the screen and start singing with him.)

All: ♪Wil... son takes us into World War I.♪

(The gavel slams down, transitioning to the Warners marching with guns in their hands. Behind them, Background Singer waves the American flag as he marches. Babes Bunny is marching while he's in the form of a red horse.)

(Military cadence)

GALLIPOLI

ARGONNE

THE SOMME

VERDUN

Background Singer (While marching and waving the flag): And if that's not enough...

(We cut to Yakko standing next to a portrait of Warren Harding)

Yakko: ♪Warren Harding, next in line.♪

(Camera pans right to Dot standing next to a portrait of Calvin Coolidge)

Dot: ♪It's Calvin Coolidge, he does fine.♪

(We cut to Wakko, Background Singer, and Babes as they stand on a chart of the Wall Street Crash of 1929.)

Wakko, Background Singer, and Babes: ♪And then in nineteen twenty-nine [1929]...♪

Wakko: ♪The market crashes and we find...♪

(Camera pans down to Yakko looking at a picture of Herbert Hoover. Background Singer walks down and sings.)

Yakko: ♪It's Herbert Hoover's big debut.♪

Background Singer: ♪He gets the blame and loses to...♪

(Babes, in form of a bald eagle, flies beside Dot riding in Franklin Roosevelt's airplane wheelchair. The camera slowly zooms out revealing the Atomic Bomb used in the Attack on Pearl Harbor.)

Dot and Babes: ♪Franklin Roosevelt, President who, helped us win in World War II.♪

(Wakko stands next to Harry Truman holding a newspaper saying "DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN")

Wakko: ♪Harry Truman, weird little human, serves two terms and when he's done...♪

(Yakko and Babes are shown wearing green army clothing as they salute Dwight D. Eisenhower)

Yakko (Sung) and Babes (Spoken): ♪It's Eisenhower who's got the power From '53 to '61.♪

(Dot and Background Singer are shown on the left of the John F. Kennedy portrait while Yakko and Wakko mourn for his death as they salute. The camera pans left to Dot and Background Singer standing on the right of the Lyndon Johnson portrait.)

Dot and Background Singer: ♪John Kennedy had Camelot, then Lyndon Johnson took his spot.♪

(Yakko is shown in front of the Watergate Hotel with Richard Nixon)

Yakko: ♪Richard Nixon, he gets caught.♪

(Babes is shown next to Gerald Ford waving, until he loses his balance and falls down the stair lift of the plane.)

Babes Bunny: And Gerald Ford fell down a lot. Poor guy.

(Wakko marches in place next to the Jimmy Carter portrait)

Wakko: ♪Jimmy Carter liked campaign trips.♪

(Camera pans left, revealing Yakko in front of a slideshow presentation of Ronald Reagan)

Yakko: ♪And Ronald Reagan's speeches' scripts all came from famous movie clips.♪

(Camera pans left, revealing Babes standing next to a portrait of George H.W. Bush with his lips flapping. Babes points to his own lips on cue.)

Babes Bunny: And President Bush said, "Read my lips."

(The Warners, Background Singer, and Babes are now shown in the President's Office in the White House. Standing beside them in Hilary Clinton.)

Dot: ♪Now in Washington, DC...♪

Wakko: ♪There's Democrats and the GOP.♪

Yakko and Babes: ♪But the ones in charge are plain to see...♪

(Bill Clinton spins his chair around and he and his wife laugh at the screen)

Dot (Sung, off-screen) and Background Singer (Spoken, off-screen): ♪They're the Clintons, Bill and Hillary!♪

(The music starts slowing down as the screen fades to the Warners, Background Singer, and Babes at the top of the stair lift to the airplane.)

Yakko and Babes: ♪The next President to lead the way, well, it might just be yourself one day.♪

(Microphones are pointed to the Warners and cameras start flashing. Meanwhile, Babes turns into his bald eagle form.)

♪Then the press'll distort everything you say (Babes squawks like an eagle)...♪

(The rest of the music ends at its normal speed)

All 5 (Off-screen): ♪So jump in your plane and fly away!♪♪

(The plane takes off and the iris closes around it on the final note of the song)

THE END

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