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"The Hunk From Upumema" is a song performed by Dot for the episode, "Take My Siblings, Please". In that same episode, the song, "You're Only Second Rate" from Disney's "Aladdin 2: The Return of Jafar" is performed by Wizard Waldo as he tortures Babes Bunny, as he explores the haunted forest to follow Dot's tracks.

VOICE CAST[]

Voice Actor Character
Tress MacNeille Dot Warner
321SPONGEBOLT Wizard Waldo

Babes Bunny (Televised version)

LYRICS[]

"The Hunk From Upumema"[]

Dot: ♪Tall and dark and really handsome, the hunk from Upumema's real dumb!♪

♪And when he strolls, each one he strolls by goes...♪

(Makes a scary face, then continues skipping to the bridge while humming to the music. Then, we transition over to Waldo at his crystal ball as he's about to sing.)

"You're Only Second Rate"[]

Soundtrack Audio[]

Wizard Waldo: ♪I must admit, your parlor tricks are amusing.♪

♪I bet you've got a bunny under your hat.♪

♪Now here's your chance to get the best of me, hope your hand is hot!♪

♪C'mon clowns, let's see what you've got!♪

♪You try to slam me with your harder stuff, but your double whammy isn't up to snuff.♪

♪I'll set the record straight, you're simply out of date. You're only second rate.♪

♪You think your cat's a meanie, but your tiger's tame.♪

♪You've got a lot to learn about the genie game.♪

♪So for your education, I'll reiterate: You're only second rate!♪

♪Men cower at the power in my pinky. My thumb is number one on every list!♪

♪But if you're not convinced that I'm invincible, put me to the test!♪

♪I'd love to lay this rivalry to rest.♪

♪Go ahead and zap me with a big surprise! Slap me in a trap! Cut me down to size! I'll make a great escape!♪

♪It's just a piece of cake. You're only second rate!♪

♪You know your hocus-pocus isn't tough enough. And your mumbo-jumbo doesn't measure up.♪

♪Let me pontificate upon your sorry state, you're only second rate.♪

Zaba-caba-dabra!

Granny's gonna grab ya!

Alakazam-da-mus, and this thing's bigger than the both of us!

So spare me your tremendous scare! You look horrendous in your underwear.

♪And I can hardly wait to discombobulate.♪

♪I'll send you back and packing in a shipping crate.♪

♪You'll make a better living with a spinning plate!♪

♪You're only second rate!♪♪

(A few seconds after the gong at the end of the music, Waldo lets out an evil chuckle.)

Ha-ha-ha! And now that the bunny's out of the picture, let's tune into the "Troll Channel" to see how our antagonist is doing, shall we?

Televised version[]

Wizard Waldo: ♪I must admit, your parlor tricks are amusing.♪

Babes Bunny (Scared): Who-who's singing? Who's singing?

Wizard Waldo (Voice-over): ♪I bet you've got a bunny under your hat.♪

Wizard Waldo (On-screen): ♪Now here's your chance to get the best of me, (Magically sets one of Babes' hands on fire and burns him) hope your hand is hot!♪

Babes Bunny (On fire): OH! OUCH, OUCH, OUCH, OUCH!

Wizard Waldo (Voice-over): ♪C'mon clowns, let's see what you've got!♪

(Woodland nymphs come out from behind the trees to attack Babes as Waldo ordered. They attack Babes while Waldo sings.)

♪You try to slam me with your harder stuff, but your double whammy isn't up to snuff.♪

♪I'll set the record straight, you're simply out of date. You're only second rate.♪

♪You think your cat's a meanie, but your tiger's tame.♪

♪You've got a lot to learn about the genie game.♪

(A nymph grabs Babes and throws him into the air)

♪So for your education, I'll reiterate: You're only second rate!♪

(Suddenly, Waldo's magic makes Babes' legs bow down.)

♪Men cower at the power in my pinky.♪

(Now, Waldo's magic makes Babes lift himself back up with his wrist, and then makes Babes' thumb poke his forehead multiple times.)

Babes (While poking himself): Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

♪My thumb is number one on every list!♪

Wizard Waldo (On-screen): ♪But if you're not convinced that I'm invincible, put me to the test!♪

(Now the nymphs push Babes into a hole in the forest, with a mock tombstone behind it.)

Babes (Scared): Not the grave, not the grave, NOT THE GRAVE!

Wizard Waldo (Voice-over): ♪I'd love to lay this rivalry to rest.♪

(Babes, using his super strength throws the nymphs into the hole, only for Waldo to magically pop out of it.)

Wizard Waldo clone #1: ♪Go ahead and zap me with a big surprise!♪

Wizard Waldo: ♪Slap me in a trap! Cut me down to size! I'll make a great escape!♪

♪It's just a piece of cake. You're only second rate!♪

Wizard Waldo clone #2: ♪You know your hocus-pocus isn't tough enough.♪

Wizard Waldo clone #3: ♪And your mumbo-jumbo doesn't measure up.♪

Wizard Waldo clone #1: ♪Let me pontificate upon your sorry state, you're only second rate.♪

Babes Bunny: (Screams) MAMA!!!

Wizard Waldo clone #1: Zaba-caba-dabra!

Granny's gonna grab ya!

Wizard Waldo clones: Alakazam-da-mus, and this thing's bigger than the both of us!

Wizard Waldo clone #1: So (Grabs Babes shorts and gives him a wedgie) spare me your tremendous scare!

Babes Bunny (Struggling): Aah! Wedgie! Wedgie!

Wizard Waldo clone #1: You look horrendous in your underwear. (Releases Babes)

Wizard Waldo clone #2: ♪And I can hardly wait to discombobulate.♪

Wizard Waldo clone #3: ♪I'll send you back (Makes Babes trip into a box) and packing in a shipping crate.♪

Wizard Waldo clone #4: ♪(Spins Babes around) You'll make a better living with a spinning plate!♪

All Wizard Waldo clones: ♪You're only second rate!♪♪

(With Babes all dizzy and scared, Babes faints on the last note.)

Babes Bunny (Out of energy): Oh, damn.

(We cut back to Waldo's lair, where he lets out an evil chuckle after making Babes pass out.)

Ha-ha-ha! And now that the bunny's out of the picture, (His crystal ball reveals a stone bridge with goat drawings in red chalk as the camera zooms in) let's tune into the "Troll Channel" to see how our antagonist is doing, shall we?

AUDIO SAMPLES[]

(Audio files coming soon)

TRIVIA[]

  • The album version of this song is simply credited, "You're Only Second Rate".
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